Having a baby is one of the most exciting times is any couple’s life. For couples who are coping with infertility and infertility treatments, however, trying to conceive can be more than just challenging. They whole journey, if you are not careful, can hurt and damage your relationship as a couple.
Studies show that nearly one-fourth of women reported that infertility had a negative impact on their relationships. However, about three-fourths of women reported that their partners were extremely supportive as they went through infertility treatment. 90% of women are still with the same partner that they were with during the infertility treatment.
So, if you are planning on going through infertility treatments, you might want to keep these tips in mind:
Avoid the Blame Game
This is probably the most important thing you have to consider throughout the whole journey. There will come a time when it will be easier to just turn to one another and pin the blame on your partner but doing so will not improve anything. The reality is, no matter who plays the blame game, you are both on the losing end. It does not really matter whose “fault” it is. This is not something you have much control over. You should focus one reality: having a baby is going to be more difficult for the two of you than for other couples.
When things are getting a bit rough, reassure your partner that you are both in it together. Remember the reasons why you love him or her and why you want to have a baby together. Always keep your communication lines open – talk openly about your frustrations and anger. Studies show that those couples who keep their feelings hidden are more likely to have problems related to the stress of infertility. It is also important to go to appointments together, grieve together, and cope with side effects together – in other words, attack the issue as a united front.
Keep Your Relationship Healthy
Do not forget to focus on yourselves. Keep in mind that the two of you came first – before even thinking about having a baby. In order to be good parents, you must be a healthy couple first. Do not forget to have non-infertility dates wherein you do not need to talk about children, infertility treatments, or anything that has to do with your infertility journey. Take this time to just be with each other and talk about other aspects of your lives that you might start to miss out on.
Respect Your Differences
Each of you will deal with the situation differently. Just because your partner does not cry or talk for hours about the infertility does not mean he is not hurting or that he does not care as much as you do. Keep in mind that men are more likely to distance themselves from the issue and become irritable. You must understand that this may be his way of coping. Let him.